How to talk with your child about their day at preschool

I am passing this along from another blog. Seems timely after our first parent evening last week.

A few parents have asked me what words they can use to discuss their child's preschool day with them.  And one in particular asked me to do a blog post about it.  I thought that was a great idea, so here is the post.

It can be difficult to get much information from your preschooler about their day.  There are a variety of reasons for this.  For one, they are often so fluidly moving from activity to activity that it could literally be hard for them to recall specific things they did.  Another factor is that they may be questioned about their preschool day several hours after preschool and that can also affect their memory of the specifics (how well those of us who are "older" can understand this one!!).  And, of course, another factor may be that the words adults use to ask them about their day may be different from the words we use to describe things at school.  So the child becomes confused by the question and is unable to offer much information.  I am hoping this post will help some with the latter issue.  I'm not sure much can be done to remedy the other issues, but it will definitely will help to use the right "jargon".

First, at school we refer to the materials and activities mostly as "work."  This is just kind of a Montessori thing.  Many or most of the materials wouldn't necessarily be called "toys", nor would the children necessarily think that they "played with" things.  So if you ask them questions like, "What did you play with?" or "What toys did you play with?", you are unlikely to get much of a response.  However, if you say, "What did you work with?" or "What work did you do?" or "What did you take off the shelf?", you may yield better answers.

Second, if you aren't getting a lot of specifics about the "work" your child is doing, don't give up on trying to have a conversation with them about their day.  It may be that their "work time" is not standing out in their mind as the most salient or "important" part of their day.  That doesn't mean they aren't learning or busy during work time.  Rather, there just may be other parts of our preschool day that are more preferred by your child.  If this is the case, you could ask them things like, "What songs did you sing on the line today?"  If you read my blog regularly and have a child in my class, I will try to post most of our songs under the sidebar category called "Montessori---Group Activities".  So you could specifically ask them if they sang the "Bakery Shop" song, for example. 

If your child loves being outdoors, you could ask them about what they did outside or who they played with.  For many children, this is a highlight of their preschool day.  Additionally, most children will at least tell you about what they had for snack.  When my oldest child went through Montessori preschool, that was the most reliable piece of information I gleaned from him. 

Also keep in mind that all children (like all of us adults) are different.  Some will voluntarily share with you many details about their preschool experience and some (like both of my boys, I'm afraid) are not as inclined to share a lot about their day.  If your child falls into the latter category, don't despair.  As far as I know, there is no correlation between amount of learning and amount of talking about their learning.  Remember................so much of the learning that is going on within your child is just that..........within. 

And for a final thought..............try to think about what your own adult response would be if, at the end of a full work day, you were intensely questioned about all the details of what you did for the duration of the time you were away from the questioner.  Sometimes, you'd just prefer to not talk about it.  Not because it was bad, just because.  You know what I mean??  And............it's okay. 

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Back to School –

Study Shows the Right Preschool Leads to Later Success education.com

A study released by the International Association for the Evaluation of Educational Achievement (IEA) shows that the type of preschool a child attends at 4 years old, will affect how he or she learns at 7. The study, the largest of its type to date, followed 5,000 preschoolers in 1,800 schools across the world.

So what type of preschool is best? Larry Schweinhart, president of the High/Scope Educational Research Foundation, and a researcher on the study says, “Early childhood educators contribute to children’s development when they emphasize child-initiated activities, limit the use of whole-group instruction, and provide abundant materials in the classroom.”

In other words, allowing preschoolers to choose freely, for as much of the day as possible, rather than corralling them into too much circle time, is the best way to create successful first graders. The researchers are clear on a number of points:

Language performance at age 7 improves when:

1. Most of the activities available to preschoolers are free choice, rather than teacher led – exploration based, physical activities that allow kids to practice their gross and fine motor skills, crafts, music.
2. Their teachers have a higher level of education.

Thinking skills at age 7 improve when:

1. Preschoolers spend less time in whole group activities proposed by the teacher, like songs, games, group story-time, and pre-academic activities. 30-40 minutes is a good amount of whole group time.
2. The number and variety of equipment and materials for preschoolers to choose from increases.

In a nutshell, children become better thinkers when they’re active participants in their own learning.

Play Equals Learning

The study addresses what many of us teachers believe - that child development in preschool is the foundation for future learning. Many of the problems that children/young adults encounter usually arise because they didn't learn or weren't allowed enough developmental/exploration time at around age 3. Learning to share, cooperate and problem solve social issues are learned at a young age. “Academic” content can also be attractive to and appropriate for the young child. Although, I'd offer that every time learning is happening it is academic, even if it seems purely social. The term academic and formal are often misused when discussing early childhood education. What is more important is the understanding that play equals learning. For too long we have divorced the two. While early childhood education is a hot topic for Ready 4 K followers in Minnesota and is expected to be “on the national agenda” under the Obama administration, the topic of what is going on inside preschools is not yet part of the discussion. It is not enough to just say preschool is important—how we do it is important.

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Back to School –

10 Signs of a Great Preschool

If your child is between the ages of 3 and 6 and attends a child care center, preschool, or kindergarten program, the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) suggests you look for these 10 signs to make sure your child is in a good classroom.

1. Children spend most of their playing and working with materials or other children. They do not wander aimlessly, and they are not expected to sit quietly for long periods of time.
2. Children have access to various activities throughout the day. Look for assorted building blocks and other construction materials, props for pretend play, picture books, paints and other art materials, and table toys such as matching games pegboards, and puzzles. Children should not all be doing the same thing at the same time.
3. Teachers work with individual children, small groups, and the whole group at different times during the day. They do not spend all their time with the whole group.
4. The classroom is decorated with children's original artwork, their own writing with invented spelling and stories dictated by children to teachers.
5. Children learn numbers and the alphabet in the context of their everyday experiences. The natural world of plants and animals and meaningful activities like cooking, taking attendance, or serving snack provide the basis for learning activities.
6. Children work on projects and have long periods of time (at least one hour) to play and explore. Worksheets are used little if at all.
7. Children have an opportunity to play outside every day. Outdoor play is never sacrificed for more instructional time.
8. Teachers read books to children individually or in small groups throughout the day, not just at group story time.
9. Curriculum is adapted for those who are ahead as well as those who need additional help. Teachers recognize that children's different background and experiences mean that they do not learn the same things at the same time in the same way.
10. Children and their parents look forward to school. Parents feel secure about sending their child to the program. Children are happy to attend; they do not cry regularly or complain of feeling sick.

Also ask if the program is accredited by AMS, AMI or NAEYC. Accredited programs complete a rigorous self-study and external review to prove that they meet standards of excellence in early childhood education.

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Back to School –

A Strategy for Picking a Preschool

For many parents it is wrenching and bewildering to consider handing over to others even a small part of the rearing of their own child. Whether you will be sending your preschooler to a day-care center because you wish to work, or to a preschool or nursery school because you are convinced it is best for him educationally and socially, it is a big step. For just that reason, it’s not enough (even though it’s natural) to pick a school on the basis of what your friends and neighbors say, the reputation of the school, or its official educational philosophy. Your friends are not raising your particular child. Reputations can be artificial, misleading, and unreal. Official philosophy can differ from the education that takes place within a school. I would like to offer here a strategy for picking a preschool for your child. I do not plan to tell you what kind of school is best—I will try to show you how to observe, question and decide. There is a series of questions that you must answer to your own satisfaction; I will explain the questions and tell you how to go about getting the answers.

The Practical Rundown

The first step is to call the schools you are considering. I suggest that each call be made only to answer practical questions, but the director will feel better if you ask about the educational program they offer. Be interested, but don’t pursue the subject too far by telephone. You will be able to find out more accurately at the next stage, when you visit the school. The following questions can all be answered by telephone.

Can I afford the school?

Is enrollment still open for when I wish to enter my child?

Do they accept children his age? 

Are the hours, location and transportation such that I can get my child there and back on time?

(If you work) I s this a day-care center that can keep my child during working hours?

If the answer to any of these questions is “no,” drop the school from your list.

Is the school licensed?

The State of Minnesota requires that preschools be licensed. A licensed school guarantees minimal fire, health and safety standards, and an acceptable pupil/teacher ratio. It does not always guarantee that the staff is professionally trained.

The Observant Parent

The following questions are subjective; they can only be answered if you take the next step—a visit to the school for observing, asking explanations, expressing doubts. 

The Physical Plant—Ask to be taken on a tour of the facilities first. Check for health and safety factors. Notice the play and learning materials. Jot down materials that capture your attention: a large number of blocks, an electric typewriter, plastic “toy” toys, a nature display, interesting artwork, a workbench, letter and number games. Ask about them. The answers will tell you a great deal about the real educational goals of the school, about its attitude towards children.

The Action—Ask if you can sit down in a classroom and observe for a while. Jot down what pleases you, what disturbs you, what baffles you. Educationally, a teacher can be didactic (“this is the right way to do it”), or a resource (“come to me if you need anything else”), or an enabler (“perhaps it’s too short; would a longer one work better?”). What is the tone in the room (animated, absorbed, quiet, noisy, frantic, listless, tense, happy, busy)? How is discipline handled? What sort of conversation do you hear? Do the children play well together? You will formulate questions and doubts as you observe.

The People in the School—The director or head teacher at a school tends to set the tone, pace and method for the rest of the staff. Now is the time to talk with her. Bring up your observations: Why did the teacher interrupt the block play to offer the children a balance scale? Why do they use only one color paint?  Why do they let the children use sharp tools? What is the cardboard store front for? Express whatever doubts have come up about your child in this school. Don’t ask general questions, be specific. Say, “Can you give me an example of a child that hits or bites and tell me how you handle it?” Don’t say, “What do you do with aggressive children?” Questions now about the educational program will make sense, because you have seen for yourself the materials, activities and attitudes they feel are important.

The Philosophy Hang-Up

Don’t get hung up on philosophy. Good education is a question of the match—the match between school and child. You have known your child for several years; you have observed several schools. Now you can make the match: It is no more helpful to ask yourself general questions than it is to ask teachers general questions. Do not ask yourself: Should schools push kids or leave them alone? Is social growth more important than academic development? Does the Montessori system make kids brighter than the Discovery method? Deal in specifics. Will your child be stifled in this structured school? Will he be unchallenged in this undemanding one, or discouraged in this demanding one? Is there a good balance?

The final question is:

How well can I picture my very own child in this particular school?